Unsettling

When the dust settles, it can be very unsettling and leave you with very unsettling questions why would your closest friend think it's okay to ask for sexual favours why would your childhood friend think it's wise to alienate you from her life, what kind of a most monstrous toxic person you must have been  …

saturday night

one of those happy high days I want to mark this day as the happy high day when after, I came back from a dinner - (bunch- of- fun - gals- dinner- party) followed by some dancing (shots were involved) to super fun solo home alone dance in your bare minimal essentials with fairy lights …

funny or tragic

Ever since I became self aware of this dormant emotion resting in me which some might call- being human/empathetic/sensitive/considerate?! ; I find it difficult to laugh at people, events, circumstances,their Instagram feeds. Funny isn't funny anymore once you know why they do, what they do. I am telling you, this heightened awakening is funnily tragic. …

a toxic joke

A little detour from my plans of studying and only studying. There is this thought that is really bothering me for a couple of days now. I went out with a few friends the other day. There was this senior ( I want to call him a friend but idk) also present. The evening was …

overwhelmed would be an understatement

I have insane (more than three worrisome things qualify for insane) amount of things going on. Some for real, some in my head. College, exams, submissions, flat mates, people, family, friends, boyfriend - instances from each and all. But surprisingly I am not anxious. I am almost calm. Letting things be. Come and go as …

the art of shutting up

9 days into the new year and I have learnt more than the entire past year or years put together. Forgive me because I am not exaggerating when I say how refraining myself to give a reaction, however justified it might be has worked out in my favour. Let me tell you the emotions of …

The Zest of January

It's 2019. I am 24 years old and I have been clinically depressed for as long as I can remember or let's say much of my early 20s. Feels strange to say early 20s. Not as strange as acknowledging the approaching mid 20s. It's okay, it's all okay. How deeply inflicted with meaning are these …

the fall of october

is this how it's supposed to be is this how it is for all is it a facade we play or facades play us how deep am I in the pit do I keep going further or creep out I have to creep out sometime sometime soon sometime now metamorphose and now .     …

All I need, for now

It has been a long day, tiring Exhausted, the mind doesn't want any braining to be done It wants to lie next to you, wants you to lie next to me We cuddle or we don't Our legs rub against each other or they don't But the thought of you lieing next to me is …

Paranoia

I am not even going to start with how long it's been since I updated the blog or wrote something moderately decent. I have accepted my estrogen filled laid back self and little validation from y'all will be appreciated. Enter 2018, big dreams and goals? Not. Fetish-ing over baby steps, finishing 24 hours and the …